I spotted my first sighting today. It disappeared just as quickly as it came. I never thought I would see one, but it happened. I thought they were extinct. Honestly, I wish they were.
Ugg Boots are back in season. That’s right, gather your children, grab the bible, latch the shutters, bolt the door, and get into the cellar (but don’t forget the dog.) Soon, the Uggs will be rampant all over campus quickly spreading through out the city, the suburbs, and off into the country. I am not sure how long this will last, possibly for months, no one can be for certain. All that we do know is that they are indeed back, gathering in numbers, ready to attack.
Can the men of today do anything about this pandemic of horrid footwear? Is there any hope for our children’s children? I say, “Yes!” The only way to fight off this infection of the female feet is to dispose of them before they are awakened from their hibernation. Do what you must; break into the closets, crack open the safe, tear open the drawers, and torch, ransack, destroy the Ugg Boots. (Be careful, some might have offspring.) Good luck warriors!
Women, refrain from being placed under the spell of these dark magic footings. It is not worth the terror that will ensue. Take refuge in the toe socks and athletic shoes of your youth. Be young but wise and remain strong resisting the Ugg Boot.
This is the last stand. There is no going back. The Ugg Boot will be no more.